I'm Back for More Cash

I'm Back for More Cash

Author: Tony Kornheiser

Publisher: Villard

ISBN: 9781588360533

Category: Humor

Page: 400

View: 309

Download Now →

I think it’s really cool to be on a jury. Take the O.J. jury—the people on that jury got book deals, and they got on Nightline, and some of them even got to meet Greta Van Susteren! They were always being written about in the newspapers: “Juror No. 1, a thirty-six-year-old Caucasian male with a master’s degree who works for a high-tech corporation.” Throw in a line about how “he likes to hunt and fish,” and you’ve got The Dating Game. I wonder what they’d write about me. “Juror No. 4, a fat, bald, old, whiny Caucasian man who dresses like a vagrant and has complained incessantly about the texture of the toilet paper in the jury lavatory.” I try to diet, but unfortunately I’ve come to the point in life where nearly everything disgusts or disappoints me except food. And so I eat all day long. If I had a family crest, at this point it would be a man with a chicken breast in one hand, a cheeseburger in the other, and a garland of sour-cream-and-onion potato chips around his head. Tony Kornheiser is back. The celebrated Washington Post columnist and ESPN radio and TV personality relates his experience as an OnStar user, a proud new owner of the Ronco Showtime Rotisserie & BBQ, and a “phone-a-friend” on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. And in between, he dishes out political commentary on Monica and Bill and Al and George W. Read all about his quest to fit into size 36 Dockers and his struggle to buy holiday gifts. And know that in the process you’re handing this Kornheiser guy the dough for these columns twice. I got into the stock market late. I was deep in my forties and I still had all my money in the bank, earning 2 percent, like it was low-fat milk. My friends laughed at me. Even the people at the bank laughed at me—they had all their money in the market. So I gave my money to a financial adviser, who promised me he would get me a greater return than the bank. A baboon could do that, Tony. Yes, but would a baboon give me steak knives? —from I’m Back for More Cash
I'm Back for More Cash
Language: en
Pages: 400
Authors: Tony Kornheiser
Categories: Humor
Type: BOOK - Published: 2011-12-07 - Publisher: Villard

I think it’s really cool to be on a jury. Take the O.J. jury—the people on that jury got book deals, and they got on Nightline, and some of them even got to meet Greta Van Susteren! They were always being written about in the newspapers: “Juror No. 1, a
Through My Eyes
Language: en
Pages: 288
Authors: Gordon Smith
Categories: PSYCHOLOGY
Type: BOOK - Published: 2018-07-03 - Publisher: Hay House UK Limited

Gordon Smith has been hailed as "Britain's most accurate medium" and his life has fascinated not only his fans, but has intrigued scientists alike. In this autobiographical book, Gordon opens a window onto his life to give readers an idea of what the world looks and feels like for a
More Stories to Touch the Heart
Language: en
Pages: 200
Authors: Russ Lawson
Categories: Religion
Type: BOOK - Published: 2008-02-01 - Publisher: Lulu.com

This book is full of stories, some true happenings, some just good stories. Each of these short devotional lessons are a sermon unto themselves. I have had preachers write and tell me that they use them as sermon starters or for devotional lessons. Mostly they are written with the hopes
Foreign Aid Appropriation Bill for 1949
Language: en
Pages:
Authors: United States. Congress. House. Committee on Appropriations
Categories: Europe
Type: BOOK - Published: 1948 - Publisher:

Books about Foreign Aid Appropriation Bill for 1949
Mr. Darcy and the Lost Slipper
Language: en
Pages: 197
Authors: Valerie Lennox
Categories: Fiction
Type: BOOK - Published: 2020-02-29 - Publisher: Punk Rawk Books

Elizabeth Bennet’s father died when she was very young, and her mother remarried a few years later to a man named Bingley. Though her mother has sent her and her older sister Jane away to stay with relatives for significant periods of time in their lives, Elizabeth has spent enough